The Faces of Me

So I've drunk wayyy too much coffee today :/ but I'm still in a good mood. Woot. t was too miserable to go into town so Uncle Mick will get a late birthday card. Whoops.

Anywho, I'm here to do David's tag!



Reception photo. I'd have been... Four. The teacher in the middle was evil. I swear she was satan in disguise!



Year 8. 11 years old. Bugsy Malone. Oh embarassing moments. They sure picked a shit dress for us to wear :/



15/16 years old. I'm so bloody baby faced! I'm so glad I don't wear my hair like that anymore!



And me now. This is my most recent photo. I think I've changed a lot over the years. Agreed?

Okay so I tag all my readers.

The idea? Post a younger photo of you and a recent one so we can spy the difference!

Whoops-a-daisy

So after my bitching session on Wednesday about how I hate my roommates... Four of them invited me out drinking literally like two minutes after I posted that blog!!

And dare I say it...

It was an absolutely amazing night.

We hung out in the living room at the start of the night so we could do hair, make-up and fake tan stuff. We drank (beer in my case, vodka and lemonade in theirs). We helped Maria pick an outfit then we help fluff up Angie's hair. It was like we were just a big group of sisters getting ready.

We hit the nightclub and we were all up on the dancefloor dancing. It was the whole saucy swing your hip dancing as well which I can do but always feel out of place doing. So it wasn't a shock when were backed into the middle of the dancefloor by guys. We were being groped left right and centre. Thankfully, Ashlie isn't scared of anything so she told them all where to push off and from then on kept me at her side.

She spent the whole night worrying that I wouldn't enjoy myself because I'm younger than them. She had her fears in the wrong place. I had a great time!



This is Karen and Maria. Karen is a Scottish third year on the primary teaching course so they advise me quite a bit. Maria's a german transfer student doing commercial media, I think.



This is Angie and Ashlie. Angie is a French transfer student doing commercial music. She's soooo sweet. Then Ashlie is a scottish third year, also on Primary Education.

Thanks to having a little bit too much fun, I was too tired to go to my English lecture but i'm copying the notes off a friend. It'll be the first and last time I do it!

Then I had two hours of science and four hours of math. I hate Thursday because it's such a long day but during science I had a balloon fight with Nicola and in Maths, I accidentally kept knocking over Louise's tower. Total accident. She's since told me to sleep with one eye open :)

On Wednesday, thanks to my rage, I finally decided to tidy my bedroom! I have a few carrier bags of rubbish to throw out but apart from that, I'm gooood. This is my new wall. I tacked things of importance onto it and things I simply want to keep.



List of useful but memorable things

- CSI Sleeve
- Wristbands from the union
- HMV Receipt
- Primary necklace
- Necklace claire bought me for my birthday
- Necklace I borrowed off Nicola and still need to give back
- Party hat from Richie's surprise party
- Letters from Puppy
- My English blood donor card
- cinema stump from seeing Forrest Gump
- Odeon points card
- Pro Plus from the first after midnight Tesco trip
- Card off grandad
- Club flyers
- Receipt from rent

I really do hoard anything. It's great. I love it and plan on just adding to it. It'll be a cluttered mess come next June but it'll sure make me smile!

Today has been a day used for sleep. I eventually went upstairs to check on Kim because she's been down recently. I then stayed with her and she introduced me to Heroes and Moonlight. I love them both! They're amazing shows!

Okay so it's now 3 am and I should sleep because I have to go into town tomorrow and buy my a uncle a card due to it being his birthday in three day. I know it's going to be late but he loves me so he'll understand. Hopefully.

I also have a new website dedicated to my wonderful world of fiction. If you ever a moment go take a nosey. I like boasting my work

www.stepintoherimagination.webs.com

It's basically just a summary of everything I'm working on or have completed.

Bummed Out.

First of all, I thought I’d start this post with something cheery...



7 Interesting Facts about Me

1) I’m living in a different country to my parents
2) I’m deadly afraid of seaweed, being left behind and ventriloquist dolls
3) I’m allergic to all cosmetics
4) I get obsessed easily and my main obsessions are detective programmes.
5) I’m a proud Taggart writer on Fanfiction.net
6) I sing in the shower even though I now live in a shared flat.
7) I believe in the unexplained phenemenon

7 things I love

1) Detective programmes
2) Old musicals
3) Peanut butter and jam sandwiches
4) Fan Fiction
5) My friends and family
6) Mills and Boons (*hangs head*)
7) The smell of coconut and cinnamon

I tag Lee, David, Lauren and anyone else who wants to do it.

I'm finally most definitly fitting in at university. I have two photos to show you taken from Louise's birthday. It was a great night and like any good night, it has moments to make you smile.



(Kirsty, Johanna, Louise, Sophie, Nicola and Me)

This is a photo of me with the Flat C girls. I've long since recognised if it wasn't for the crazy bunch of girls (and lone boy in the form of Andrew) then I wouldn't have anything here to stop me going insane! I love them all!



(Me, Sarah, Nicola and Louise)

These are the three girls that go along with the torture that is known as class with me. That's right. These three are there when we have to endure three hours of Big Morag (the dullest IT teacher IMAGINABLE!) and then we all sit about in the refectory over our square sausage, two hash browns and potato scones. I swear, grease has never tasted so good until you sit and eat in the refectory with your friends.

I went into town today with Sophie and Kim (another Flat C girl but she was apparently missing during that first photo). It was great despite the rain. We hunted for hours for a bank so that Sophie could cash her cheque. We then found out it was on the same road as the doctors which we were also looking for because we were meant to register like two months ago now :/

Want to know the best thing about the trip?

First thing, let me digress.

"Grannie" has given us all £100 for xmas and it will be our last present off her. I've been told there is a card and everything but I wouldn't know because I'm up here. However, I asked dad to put the money in my bank because I wanted to buy....

SEASON ONE TO EIGHT OF CSI LAS VEGAS. Yeah baby :)

I am so happy that I now own them all. Louise is making a joke out of how they'll never see me again but that's so NOT true. Much. I'm so happy :) They've took pride of place on my shelf and EVERYTHING.

It's great doing things with the girls. I'm finally starting to make plans! Next Wednesday we're going to get a train into the city of Glasgow to see Twilight Saga: New Moon (god knows why its being called that). Next weekend, Jessica is coming up with Uncle Jim and Aunt Mary so she might stay a night or two with me. Then a week on Monday I'm going to glasgow to do my christmas shopping with Nicola and Louise. FUN FUN FUN!

Now to why I'm moody... You knew it was coming. You read the title.

I hate my flatmates. Literally.

It's so petty too that's what's really pissing me off! It's over fridge space. I'm being deadly serious. They took over the fridge that me, Ashlie and Karen shared so I put my milk in 'their' fridge. Today I've came back from shopping to find it on the table.

If it was the first time, I'd be fine. I'm being deadly serious. They do it all the time.

So today was the last straw and I got that angry, I burst into tears and did the whole "i wanna go home speel." It's ridiculous feeling this small. It's always me too. I swear being the youngest is the reason it's happening. They're all a few years older.

I don't want to report them but if it doesn't stop, I'm literally going to go irate or even depressed. While I was crying, all I could think about was alcohol and I know that's never good. I've actually been sober for a month now and it's better for me.

Gah, I'm fed up.

It's a good thing I have CSI to make me smile.

Oh and I am now the proud owner of a Blackberry. I love my student loan <3

NB: I'm sorry at how long it's been since my last blog. I'm sorry at how long this blog is. I'm sorry about the layout. The school intranet is SHITE. I'm sorry.

Bonfire Night

So it’s been Bonfire night.

I had my all emotional moment.

First bonfire night with both grannie and uncle picko. Then I’m also away from home.

Could today have got any worse?

I wasn’t in the mood to watch fireworks and the ones that I did see from my window caused me to blub like an emotional bitch so I decided to shut my curtains and turn my music up really loud.

You’re probably thinking, now why is bonfire night making the crazy bitch all emotional?

Well it’s simple. Bonfire night was the night hosted at our house. Dad would go crazy on buying fireworks and party food. It was THE night for curry, chilli, stew, garlic mushrooms, burgers, hot dogs, toffee apples and bonfire toffee. We’d all eat and then eventually we’d all gather in front of our French doors and watch dad set the fireworks off.

This happened for many years.

Now this year is the first one without Uncle Picko. He always came to the bonfire nights seeing as he was dad’s best friend. He would chase Lauren around the house because she was his “little girlfriend” and he’d try to convince her to give him a kiss but that always failed because she was at the age where kissing family was not cool.

The girls from upstairs eventually came looking for me because they wanted me and my music. I tottered off upstairs where we boogied to my music a bit before deciding to play singstar.

Hello, Love is all around by Wet Wet Wet.

That indeed is the song our darling uncle picko was cremated too. A song that has long since been deleted outta my iTune library.

Yes, I blubbed like a hysterical bitch and ran down to my room and curled up in my bed for a few minutes to gain some composure.

I don’t think I’m upset because they’re missing Bonfire Night because face it, it’s not an important celebration really.

Do you want to know what I realised?

In just over a month it’s going to be Christmas. My first one without Grannie. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do it. I actually don’t think I’ll be able to make it through the day without getting highly emotional and suicidal. New years we also always spent at her house and this time, she won’t be there...

Okay so away from the emotional stuff because I feel tears starting to form at the back of my eyes and they’re stinging.

I had a good laugh upstairs with Louise and Uncle Johnson. I would like to say that recently I feel as if I’ve really started to make a bond with some of the guys I hang out with and my intense feeling of homesickness is starting to evaporate. I’m always going to miss home but with people like Louise saying that they love me, you can’t help but feel a little bit loved and happy.

Well I know I’ve not blogged in awhile and then the minute I do, it’s a depressing one. I hope you’re all well and that you enjoy your weekend!

Skint

One big mistake people make when they get an unexpected windfall is to start spending at that new level of income right away.
They push up their expenses and thus feel no more prosperous than they did when they were much poorer.
They say when your income goes up your expenses go up, and you may see signs of that.

So this was my star sign for yesterday and I would like to say omg, how true?

I’m such an adult now. I paid rent to my room. I’m now skint and living on something ridiculous but that doesn’t matter (well it will when I write a little on that later) because I’m grown up. I’m paying for a flat! I’m loving this craziness. Who’d have thought it about me?

The issue is I am now literally skint. I have to try and either really budget or just go hungry. I’m thinking the latter option is probably going to be the one I do but you guys know me. I’m not going to just suddenly die. I’m going to come out fighting. I always do.

Mum and dad are determined to help me and Claire thinks I’m daft for not having an overdraft on my bank account but I refuse to allow myself to get into debt by spending money that I don’t have. I’m going to survive. I know I shall.

I’ve gone another night sober. I’m proud of me. I think I should have done the whole sober thing years ago. My body will love me for it in a few more years. I also have a swimming costume now so I’m going to start swimming. My body will LOVE ME :)

Okay so it’s five am, I’ll blog properly at a later date. I just wanted to brag that I’d paid my rent XD

Blood Donation

So I gave blood today.

It went well and even though my arm is now killing me, I'm not going to complain because today I saved a life. I also know that my blood type is O Rhesus (to me and you, that's 0 negative) and only 7% of the population have that blood type. You heard me, I'm rare *grins*

Okay so my issue with it is... my original blood donations no longer count on my record!

That's right. I have to have a whole new record because I live in Scotland! It sucks. So if I go home and decide to give blood, this record will be wiped clear!

Pfft, I really didn't think this move through.

Still not whining because today I saved a life and I do think that simple action makes me the most happiest I've ever been! I even went to a party and stay sobered so I could!!

Vulnerable

Hey guys.

I’ve not been very religious with this whole blog writing even though I have every opportunity to login and leave you a few words about my oh so amazing life. I really should start making my blog deep and insightful but I really can’t be bothered. Why make myself work harder? I struggle to tell you what has happened without having to think deeply. Oh can you imagine how much my little grey brain cells would hate me?

So I finally did it.

I finally managed to get myself completely trashed.

Cheap vodka with Dr Pepper. I don’t think I’ll be able to think of alcohol again without wanting to momentarily hurl – just kidding, this is me we’re talking about.

However, I can’t actually tell you what happened that night because Friday morning I woke up alcohol induced amnesia in my tee shirt that I had been wearing. Yes, I literally got that bad. I felt like crap and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so ashamed in myself.

I’ve heard people talk about how they managed to get wasted and forgot the night when they wake up and I’ve always wondered how they could let themselves get so vulnerable. Thankfully, I was only drinking in the study room down from my room but could you imagine what could have happened if I had been out and about with my friends?

I apparently just disappeared and no one thought to come and look for me. That’s cool. I mean, I was in halls it was obvious that I had just gone to bed. Which apparently is what I had done.

However in the process, I had lost my keys and the jeans I was wearing. That’s right. I had lost my jeans.

I have now since found my jeans but they’re completely ruined so they’re in the bin and thankfully my keys were in my jean pockets. I must have opened my front door, put the keys back in my pocket and continued on a little trek.

Well that was it, wasn’t it?

I had no keys. No jeans. No memory.

A good night surpassed because I got completely trashed. I was upset at the time so I could blame that. I’ve always known not to drink when upset because I end up completely paralytic. I also know not to drink vodka because I get suicidal. I did wake up with fresh cuts and bruises on my legs but I think that’s because I fell down but I’ll tell you now I’ve never felt so pathetic and stupid in all my life.

I’ve been told by my darling mother that I have to stop drinking for now. I’m going to agree with her at least until my cough has completely gone because every time I drink my cough just seems to get worse. So I’m fine with just drinking Irn Bru or coke – even though I hate it (pepsi FTW!) – when I’m out with friends. It takes a big person to do that and I am that person. I need to do it. Besides, mum says she won’t buy me booze for Christmas otherwise *pouts*

I have now got my keys back.

I have been lectured by my best friend, Rob, and my parents. I’ve been laughed at by Claire and the guys here thought they were doing it behind my back but I happened to walk through the door at the same time. Their faces were beautiful. Sure made me believe my fear that no one likes me here.

Thankfully my roommates, Ashlie and Karen, have decided that I’m putting on this facade of being shy and innocent which is true. I mean back home I was a crazy son of a bitch. We got up to everything and never thought of the consequences but our fun was cool. I don’t even think half of them know my name! It sure hurts thinking that, doesn’t it?

Right, I’m going to venture off before I start going completely emotional on you because that would not be cool.

Hopefully going to see SAW VI with Ashlie and Karen tonight but it does depend on how their hangovers are today. I’m not putting too many hopes down just yet. I saw the state of them last week. Is it crazy that I love my roommates so much even though we’ve only just started bonding?

I suppose it’s because these people give me airtime and are prepared to let the old me out.

I hate being shy Helen but at the same time, I don’t want people to think I’ve changed into someone new... It’s a funny world.

Only about fifty five days until I’m home with people who love me no matter who I am.

Happy thoughts.